The Healing Journey: Transition was about unbecoming everything that wasn’t really me, so I could be the me I was always meant to be.

I’ve heard many self-help teachers, philosophers, and psychologists describe healing as the process of undoing the layers of social conditioning placed upon us by society, and returning to our authentic selves. For me, transition was that process.

When cisgender people talk about authenticity, shedding shame, low self-esteem, imposter syndrome, masking, and the many ways we change ourselves to fit into the outer world, they are describing a process of realignment with the self.

People still struggle to understand trans people’s experiences, but the truth is I think many people can understand. They just don’t realise it. Trans people are pushed out of their social conditioning, some forced to forfeit safety, personal relationships, and even love to embody their truth.

I was born into a world that gendered me incorrectly. My body didn’t align with who I was on the inside, to the point of excruciating discomfort that I endured until I simply couldn’t keep it up any longer. Perhaps that part is less understood by the wider world. I genuinely wish I could make it clearer. I just know it is very real.

Human beings are far more complex than we’ve been led to believe. Some believe trans people show us what it means to transcend the body. If there is proof of the soul, perhaps we are it, something ancient communities seemed to understand. This raises the question of whether the oppression of trans people is really about the threat that such radical authenticity poses to social structures that seek to keep us in place, unknowingly trapped within them.

Trans people are often reduced to just our trans identity and how that fits into modern society, rather than being considered as whole, multi-faceted human beings. It’s a kind of interpersonal dehumanisation that extends beyond political and media discourse.

Often we are treated as second-class citizens. Some of us are allowed a seat at the table only if we meet the requirements of acceptability. There’s very little room for anything else.

God forbid some of us might struggle with our mental health or additional needs. Many of us know that visibility doesn’t always make space for that. It doesn’t always come with understanding or support.

The truth is that there is much more to us that is often missed when we are viewed through a single lens. I feel as though we can even judge ourselves and each other through that same narrow frame because we’ve been defined so heavily by this one category.

Yet I’m having to find myself outside of that, allowing space for the next stage of my healing. To understand other hurdles such as my complex post-traumatic stress disorder and to work on addiction recovery as part of the focus of my healing.

Authenticity now requires me to discover the self before the trauma. The self that could feel safe without anaesthetising pain and become a self that can prioritise self-care and healthy coping mechanisms.

Transition was such a big deal because of the internal and external pressure of that experience. But in truth it is a small fraction of a journey that continues to unfold.

Yet sometimes it can feel like it’s all the world wants from me. You’re either trans or you’re nobody. Yet perhaps becoming nobody feels like a more humanising experience.

Imagine a world that instead of othering trans people, we were embraced as just another wonderful part of the human experience.

Look at us. Eight billion diverse human beings. Some majority groups with more similarities than others. But in truth we are all different and that’s what’s fascinating about us. If only we were more open to the complexity, diversity, and mystery of what it means to be human.

I truly believe transition facilitated a deeper process of healing for me, bringing my outer life into alignment with my inner truth.

Today becoming who I truly am is about far more than my gender identity. It’s about peeling back the layers of who I thought I had to be and allowing the person underneath to exist fully.

Inspired by a quote often attributed to author Paulo Coelho